Editor’s note: She’s no longer, my girlfriend, but now my wife, Anna Gann.
Today brings my girl friend, Anna Bauer, on as a guest blogger.
Recently, I attended at wedding with my boyfriend, and like every female in the college/recent grad demographic, I couldn’t help but think about my own wedding one day. I dreamed of flowers, dresses, celebrations, and all the joy that comes with such an event. And then I thought about the foundation of a solid relationship. And because I’ve been dating this guy for quite some time, I thought in terms of analogies (one of his favorite forms of communication).
In the business world, an effective mission statement should guide the company in decision-making and growth. The mission statement functions as a standard by which the entire business measures its progress. One such company, Southwest Airlines, has put this into practice. With its emphasis on customer service and cost efficiency, it is known nationwide as an airline that is both fun and affordable, adjectives that are rarely placed in the same vicinity. Customers enjoy self-selected seating options, entertaining flight attendants, and affordable rates. Decisions regarding practices are held up to these standards, and if they fit, they stay. If they do not support the goal of customer service or cost-effectiveness, they are soon abandoned.
With this in mind, I thought about dating- and how it is so important to have a mission in mind. What is at the core of the relationship that drives all other decisions? In my life, two themes arose: the pursuit of God and the demonstration of love for the other person in the relationship. Do you seek God’s will in your life? Among other people, do you love me more? I realize that it may sound oversimplified and selfish, but I firmly believe that decisions made in light of these questions can lead to better outcomes. Words alone are not enough- “I love you” can fall short. I don’t care if you go to numerous Bible studies- if you don’t communicate God’s love through your actions as well as your words, that love isn’t genuine. I need someone who desires to grow in his relationship with God, because it will help him grow as a man. If you “love” hanging out with your friends, I just want to know that you love me more. In an age of media overload, I must confess that I am apt to compare myself to others, and fear that I am not good enough. I need to know that you value me more than some image or “ideal” of a woman. And it takes more than just saying words- it’s demonstrated through long walks, shared conversations, silent encouragement, and displays of affection. With this in mind, I know that I must do the same. Simply assuming that someone knows you love them can leave both people at a loss for true understanding in a relationship. I must be intentional in my relationship with God if I am to expect you to do the same. I must be willing to listen, to demonstrate small acts of kindness, and to make you feel loved. By making choices in light of these two components, I feel that I can serve and love in the best way possible. True love involves sacrifice and submission, and in a relationship, reciprocity is essential.
Although dating is by no means a business transaction, lessons can be learned from the commercial realm. Outlining what matters and building a foundation upon specified priorities can pave the way for peace in that relationship and growth together.
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” John 15:12
Stevenson, S. (2012). The Southwest secret. Retrieved from http://www.slate.com/articles/business/operations/2012/06/southwest_airlines_profitability_how_the_company_uses_operations_theory_to_fuel_its_success_.html